Swim Between The Shores

2006-08-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm in London! We saw the Tower of London (lots of people died there), ate at the Mudlark (where a scene in Harry Potter 3 was filmed- the bit where ron's dad tells Harry that he's being hunted by Sirius), and tomorrow we'll see the London Eye, which teh Doctor used to save earth from the plastic people in the first ep of the Chris Eccleston series. GEEK. I'll start a proper travel blog when I get to Galway and internet doesn't cost 10 bucks an hour.

2006-08-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

Whew. So I'm leaving the country in about 2.5 weeks. Frickin scary.

I worked on the farm on Monday when it was like 100+ degrees out, and I got some cbad sunstroke. NOT FUN.

However, I AM currently addicted to the show Freaks and Geeks.

And I'm blogging from my new laptop! Whooo!

2006-07-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!
I just bought a laptop!
$589 for a Dell 1405 (that's the little, lite-sized one) with 40 GB hd and 1 gig of memory! I'm so pleased.

The end.

2006-07-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Well, meeting the parents went well. I think. Meh.

Beth Orton was fun. There was a belligerent dude in front of us who was being borderline abusive to his girlfriend. Both were very drunk, and she was doing shit to him, too, but you could tell by the way she sat and took his angry tirade that she's experienced it before. It made me feel sad and almost blindingly angry.

2006-07-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

So, I just finished Robin McKinley's Deerskin, and I think I'm in love. With her words. And their elliptical way of glancing, at times gently, at times fiercely, against the tale she's telling. It's a nearly brutal book, but it resonates despite its setting, and it has a depth of clarity that is at once beautiful and horrible.

Unnerving, to say the least.

She was the guest of honor at Wiscon 2005, and in her speech she gave the following bit of anecdote which I find myself agreeing with on some sort of bizarre visceral level: "I've found to my dismay that in England I still get the reaction, oh, you're a feminist? You don't look like a feminist. And we all know what that means. The temptation is to punch them in the eye and then as they stand there trying to staunch the blood, say, now do I look like a feminist? But I don't guess that would do the cause any good, so I have abstained. So far."

Thanks, Louise, for your recent post. I wrote Tammy Baldwin to thank her for voting against Bush's veto on H.R. 810. Y'all, stem-cell research is a good thing! They should slap a label across the research room doors stating "no potential babies were harmed in the quest for miraculous disease-curing medical techniques." People are stupid. Sometimes that thought terrifies me so much I want nothing more than to burrow into my bed and hide from them for the rest of my life. But that's hardly a worthwhile pursuit.

Oh yeah, and I guess I'm slated to meet my girlfriend's parents tonight. This will be a terrifying experience, I'm quite sure. After that it's a Beth Orton concert, though, so that should be pretty good.

2006-06-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, haven't updated in a month. Oops.

I'm currently helping Jaci put the finishing touches on the book she's making for her sister. It's full of feminist postcards, articles, pictures, comics, excerpts etc on all this stuff. It's pretty awesome.

Also, the zine I'm working on, the Femocrat, will be published sometime in the next couple of weeks. I wrote an article about feminism in my generation. I don't think it's that good, but the editor of the zine really likes it, so it's in the July issue.

I'm seriously obsessed with Alison Bechdel right now. She's a comic/graphic novelist, most well-known for her strip Dykes To Watch Out For, but she just put out a graphic novel memoir called Fun Home and it's frickin beautiful. Someday I would like to put something that amazingly honest into words and pictures. Here's an interview between Alison and Craig Thomson (who wrote Blankets, which is also an amazingly beautiful graphic memoir). She's going to be speaking at Room next week Friday, and I'm really excited to go and sell coffee for it.

Life is generally good. My girlfriend is ever-increasingly more amazing. We're pretty fuckin happy together, which is great. I'll miss her when I go to Ireland. And everyone else, too. But, y'know.

We're goin to see the Madkings tonight, it should be a good time.

2006-05-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I got to go to WisCon... sort of. I basically did some badge-swapping with folks, which limited my opportunities. I didn't get to see the Dr Who panel, for instance, but I did go to the panel on Octavia Butler (which was hugely disappointing-some woman just read us her paper) and one on finding queer scifi (which was somewhat disappointing, but not as much as the previous one). I did, however, get to go to the big sign-out, where all of the authors sat at tables and signed stuff. I got Mary Doria Russell to sign, Nicola Griffith, Amy Thomson, and Ursula LeGuin. Turns out Patricia C Wrede was there, but I didn't know that so I didn't like, bring any books of hers. They're all in MH anyhow, but... still.

I was wearing Room's generic badge, so Nicola was like, "so... am I supposed to make it out to "Room"?" and I told her how fantastic Ammonite was. She was like, "Room, eh? good job to have."

I also told Amy Thomson how great *her* books are, especially Storyteller, and she seemed gratified. She ended up waiting just behind me in line for Ursula LeGuin, and we chatted for some ten-fifteen minutes. She told me that the Color of Distance was inspired by about three sentences in Left Hand of Darkness, the part where Genly is standing on a hill watching his people disembarking from their spaceship, and he realized that they look like aliens. That, in retrospect, is evident in the Color of Distance (which ya'll should read, by the way, because it's great).

I'm in the middle of Melissa Scott's Shadow Man, and if it weren't out of print and not in any of the used book stores I checked, I would have had a signed copy of that one, too. Good book, so far.

Well, anyhow. Life goes on. I went swimming and sunning all day Sunday instead of going to WisCon, and ended up with a great deal of color. We made mohitos and watched Eddie Izzard last night, and I didn't sleep because it's a hundred and seventy in my room. One hopes it rains, and gets nice and chilly for Thursday. I start my job on the organic farm on Thursday. Wish me luck!

2006-05-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

OMG I GET TO GO TO WISCON!!!!
I've been kicking myself repeatedly for missing my chance to get tickets, but a friend of mine works for TOR publishing and she scored me a pass through them! Wheee!

Jane Yolen and Kate Wilhelm are guests of honor this year, and because it's the 30th anniversary, they invited all of the previous GoH's, and the following authors will be in attendance:

Eleanor A. Arnason (GoH at WisCon 28)
Amanda Bankier (GoH at WisCon 1)
Lois McMaster Bujold (GoH at WisCon 17)
Emma Bull (GoH at WisCon 14)
Pat Cadigan (GoH at WisCon 13)
Avedon Carol (GoH at WisCon 11)
Suzy McKee Charnas (GoH at WisCon 3)
Samuel R. Delany (GoH at WisCon 11)
Beverly J. DeWeese (GoH at WisCon 4)
Suzette Haden Elgin (GoH at WisCon 6 & 10)
Carol Emshwiller (GoH at WisCon 27)
Karen Joy Fowler (GoH at WisCon 18)
James Frenkel (Special Guest at WisCon 18)
Jeanne Gomoll (GoH at WisCon 24)
Nicola Griffith, if health allows (Special Guest at WisCon 19)
Nina Kiriki Hoffman (GoH at WisCon 26)
Nalo Hopkinson (GoH at WisCon 26)
Steven Vincent Johnson (GoH at WisCon 5)

Ellen Kushner (GoH at WisCon 22)

Ursula K. Le Guin (GoH at WisCon 20)
Katherine MacLean, if health allows (GoH at WisCon 1)
Vonda N. McIntyre (GoH at WisCon 2)
Pat Murphy (GoH at WisCon 15)
Trina Robbins (GoH at WisCon 16)

Mary Doria Russell (GoH at WisCon 23)

Jessica Amanda Salmonson (GoH at WisCon 8)
Pamela Sargent (GoH at WisCon 15)
Melissa Scott (GoH at WisCon 21)
Delia Sherman (GoH at WisCon 22)
Stu Shiffman (GoH at WisCon 12)
Susanna J. Sturgis (GoH at WisCon 21)
Lisa Tuttle (GoH at WisCon 9)

Joan D. Vinge (GoH at WisCon 4)

Élisabeth Vonarburg (GoH at WisCon 25)
Terri Windling, if health allows (GoH at WisCon 23)

Oh My God. I might get to meet Ursula LeGuin, Mary Doria Russell, Nicola Griffith (whose book I'm reading right now and totally digging), Samuel Delaney!!! I am like, totally freaking out about this.

OMG, ps, there's an entire panel about the Chris Eccleston doctor's queering of the new Doctor Who!!!:
"

The 2005 season of the British tv series Doctor Who, starring Christopher Eccleston and produced by British Queer As Folk creator Russel T. Davies, included several alterations of the show's extensive mythology. Notably, the 9th Doctor flirts with both his female and male companions, establishing hints of his possible sexual self. At the same time, his character has been "humanized"—made less of an all–powerful alien—through trauma, similar to the so–called "feminization of the male" described by an analyst of post–WWI England. These changes appear to be good for drama, at least in most of the episodes. Is this humanization notably different from what came before, or is it part of a slow trend? Will it continue? And what are the ramifications of a romantic relationship with a character who's over 900 years old and from a technologically superior species? By the time of WisCon 30, episodes will have aired featuring a new actor in the role of the Doctor, and it will be interesting to see how he carries on from where Eccleston left off.

M: Kathryn Ann Sullivan, Rob Gates, Penny Hill, Jennifer Lackey, Jennifer Pelland

2006-05-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

I had this bizarre dream last night... A couple of friends and I were at this island beach place, it reminded me of Devil's Lake only with more beach and being... an island... anyhow, we were singing songs and stuff, sitting on this rocky outcropping, and some dudes from my high school were there playing "The General" on a guitar, and we were singing along. Then there was like, a police bust, and the police were angry at us all, and I swam out a ways into the water even though it was damned cold and retrieved some trash, which turned out to be drugs. So we were all running around the island in chaos, I went into the bathroom and scrubbed my fingerprints off the drugs and threw them in the trash.

Then we started to organize. And our organization consisted of like, all "crossing the line" that was set up to contain us (it went along the waterfront) and if enough people joined, we could forestall police violence. So we got under this bizarre tarp-skin thing, and I was next to Jill. and we swam out in a huge cube, out to where the like, enourmous police armada-industrial complex thing was stationed . Our cube was smelly and fearful, but people in the floating evil thing gave us water and food. I was scared. Some people in our cube got shot at and died. Then I woke up.

2006-05-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

So Sunday was my birthday. I turned 21.

And I came out to my parents. It was super scary. I still shudder when I think about it. They were like, "We know. We love you. It's cool."

2006-04-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

New girlfriends make me giddy!

So does springtime and mud and ducks and wading in the lake and walking to work.

2006-03-18T21:29:00.000-08:00

I defo went to Georgia over break. Saw my Emily. It was fun, especially since I could geek out with impunity with Heather's big bro, who knows more about geek things than I ever thought possible. He may even rival Louise, although she certainly has him beat for anime knowledge. That and I got to meet Emily's roommates, one of whom is one of the higher-ups in the Cingular corporation and the other of whom works for Adult Swim, editing Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squidbillies, whatever that is. The adult swim guy is really excitable. And geeky.

Yep. Nate and Emily spent like half of their time talking about their MUD, which makes me want to start playing it. I can't! I have homework and work and such. *twitchtwitch*

The scifi channel has begun playing the Christopher Eccleston Doctor Who eps, which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. This is a significant event. It even merited a mention on the cover of the Isthmus.

Love and "Marriage"

2006-01-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

Now on top of being single once again, I am *also* a married woman!! Note the wedded bliss. We made a terrible pad thai and a delectable carrot cake for the occasion and generally had a blast. John was the reverend in his boxers and socks, Jaci and I were the brides, Heather was flowergirl and my "father" and Nate was Best Man and Jaci's "father", and Anne was ringbearer and photographer. Good times were had by all.

Other than that, the days have been uneventful. I'm engrossed in the George R.R. Martin universe, currently chomping through book 2. At first it seems like just another epic fantasy story, but then he goes off and kills, mauls, and changes his characters in unexpected ways, so I have to read on because NO ONE is safe.

Also have been watching movies. I got Fellowship of the Ring the extended version on DVD from Frugal Muse for $5. $5!!!!!! How'd that happen?!?

I am also still a fan of Doctor Who, but that's been on hold for a bit because nobody will watch it with me anymore, and we're having a difficult time figuring out when the new series is going to actually start.

I'm getting quite sick, which is not good, but better now than a month ago, eh?

Edit:
Neil Gaiman had the following to say about watching the Christmas Invasion ep in his blog:
Maddy and I (and Mike and Holly and Holly's friend Rachel) watched the Christmas episode of Dr Who together, and although Maddy was not, as she would be the first to tell you, actually scared or anything, she did decide it might be sensible to sleep on the sofa in my room that night. Just, you know, because.

Which generally makes me smile. "Very Arthur Dent." Over break I watched an old Tom Baker ep that was written by Douglas Adams, and you definitely could tell. Evil murdering parrots, absurd dialogue and silliness abounded.

I saw Brokeback Mountain today. It was beautiful and wrenching and sad and the cinematography was brilliant and Heath Ledger blew me away, actually. I was expecting a reprise of "A Knight's Tale" or some such hooey. Very spare dialogue, beautiful scenery and camerawork, lean and tough old codger of a movie.

Also, I'm quite excited to see Breakfast on Pluto tomorrow. I'm gonna watch Velvet Goldmine tonight just to get in the glam mood. Cillian Murphy looks lovely, and from what I've read they play at being Daleks in the movie. Seriously. Irish lad who adores his transvestitism goes to London in search of his mum. We have Cillian Murphy of 28 Days Later fame, whose eyes are the bluest blueyest blue ever, Neil Jordan who brought us The Crying Game (which I adored) and Interview With The Vampire (which I have fond 12-year-old memories of, ahhh Anne Rice), Ireland, transvestites, 70's glammers, Liam Neeson, Dr. Who references, and Marc Bolan on the soundtrack. Speaking of Marc Bolan on soundtracks, JACKIE LEE WHEN ARE YOU GONNA COME BACK AND WATCH MOULIN ROUGE WITH ME AND JACI??!??

Snazkopeliches

2005-12-27T22:14:00.000-08:00

That's phonetic. It's a Serbian word meaning "snowmen", and it's exactly what I spent all of Friday building, after hearing a litany on the car ride home.

I'm so not used to five-year-old boys. Very high-maintenance. I'm fuckin tired. Sweet kid, most of the time, but I just... can't talk to him (his English is not so good).

Not much else going on. I feel the beginnings of a bad cold settling into my lungs. Breathing hurts. Thinking hurts. Feeling hurts.

The next few days are slated to be a blitzkreig of seeing old friends. I saw Caitlin on Thursday last, which was an entirely too stressful encounter, for all it felt easy on the surface. Maybe the easiness was itself the stress-causing agent.

Jill and I chilled. She rocks my socks. Must see more of her.

Hung out at Heather's with her brothers, we watched Serenity (YAY!!!) and played euchre, which I was immediately pwned at. Twice.

My mother should not be allowed to buy me Christmas presents. She bought me Ugg boots. Knockoffs, even. Terrible color. I pretty much wanted to die at the thought of having to wear the damned ugly/uncomfortable things.

Charlie is home and manages to make a helluva lot of noise. At least the persistent and loud thumping emanating from his room has ceased, as he's now graduated to clanging pots around in the kitchen. Which sucks because I need to be eating foods there right now.

Heather and I watched the Christmas Invasion. David Tennant is off to a promising start. Quoting "The Circle of Life" in his fiery speech to the invading aliens was definitely a high point. Hah hah, oh Russell Davies. Only the man who created Queer As Folk could possibly be expected to quote an Elton John song in a hit sci-fi series.

Yep. Bella tomorrow (YAY!!!) followed by Tom (YAY!! Someone to blabber about Milton and Spenser with !!) Hopefully Jesse sometime soon. And Lindsey. Jesus I have too many old friends. I love them, though. Wouldn't give 'em up, no ma'am.

I'm becoming suitably engrossed in A Game of Thrones, which I wisely saved for my month-long vacation. 1000 pages and 3 sequels. Yep.

Also, I was broken up with tonight. Served me right, as I've been pretty much an unfeeling bitch and masterful at avoidance. I was going to break up with her, tonight, but she beat me to it. It seems fitting. I feel terrible, but then... I always feel terrible about this sort of thing. Damnit!

Nostalgia

2005-12-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

The problem with having had a life full of beautiful, inexplicable moments is that you've got that standard to compare the rest of your shitty life to.

My heart and mind are rebelling. I want everything I miss, and I want it now, just like a petulant child. Mostly I think I want those Sunday afternoons back, when we lazed around with no agenda, no purpose. Or when I went out into the woods and became something more than myself until the color of the sunset and the smell of the earth and the experience of a snowfall so absolutely silent that your ears roar with the sound of each snowflake resting on your frozen hair and bared, vibrating skin blend together into a tangible something that you can't find anywhere else. It's the taste of your own existence, and it has no metaphor, no simile, no name.

I love words, but there are some moments when they can fail you so spectacularly. I am unfaithful to my calling.

All I can say, really, is that I miss it. The city weighs on my heart. Even the lake is fettered by streetlights, safe, contained, and heartbroken.

A Bit of Doctoring

2005-12-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

It's crunch time, and therefore I'm fixating on irrelevant, if awesome, geeknesses. This time around it's Doctor Who! I just watched a (spoilers!!) retrospective of this past season, courtesy of the BBC site, in which short clips were set to a song by Snow Patrol (ye gods, but they're hipsters over that side of the pond!). Also, the clip in which something momentous happens to the Doctor, (MORE spoilers!!) basically makes me so sad. Damn you David Tennant!! You failed as Barty Crouch, Jr, and now you've fucked with my fave Doctor since Tom Baker!

Incidentally, Neil Gaiman in a recent blog post likened his blogging software to The Doctor's periodic regenerations, a fact which made me shiver with happiness. Soon his software will become the Tom Baker incarnation, which will basically kick SO MUCH ASS with long scarfwear that no one will possibly believe it. Also, Neil Gaiman pretty much inspires me. It's been a long dream of mine to acquire a scarf like that, although I'd have to pick a season, because apparently he has a different one for each.

My lady came over tonight, which was darling and basically the highlight of my week, awww. Family Guy and coffee. I'm wired!! I have gotten a lot of work done since she left, however, and she rocks my socks. A lots.

2005-12-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

It's crunch time. You can tell because I haven't tidied my room in a week or two, and now it really is difficult to see the floor.

I'm looking forward to having some semblance of self-determination again. My mind feels like it's being consumed.

Women's studies readings tonight- got caught up through last week, which is an accomplishment. Sadly, all of the readings were about women being raped, Indian wives whose husbands killed them because their dowries weren't big enough, women on welfare who get shat on all the time... bah. Depressing.

I'm reading Gulliver's Travels for an English class, and in the third book he travels to Laputa, the castle in the sky. Yes, that's a title for the Miyazaki movie, he kind of stole it, and it wouldn't be the first time. I suppose alluding to other texts is cool. Anyhow, according to the glosses in my text, the name "laputa" comes from teh Spanish "La puta". I'll let you whiz kids translate that one for yourselves.

Chilled with Jackie, Louise, and Kristen this morning, that was nice. Card games and chitchat abounded, and my shameful Pern addiction manifested itself. Sigh.

Since then I've pretty much been doing work of one sort or another. Lots of reading, not enough work on papers. Need to get on top of that.

Tuesday morning I'm tabling with Rainbow at the Al Franken event, and from what I've given to understand I'll be having breakfast with the man himself beforehand. I think. Hopefully he won't be a dick.

2005-12-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight I feel like singing in languages I forgot long ago...

I feel charged with that buffer of heat... an impenetrable armor, if you will, against the cold.

I hate mirrors, the ones I use are broken and might well cut me if I touch them. I prefer honesty in a mirror.

I have art strewn over the floor of my room, and a vast brown blankness stretched on my wall. I had hoped to spend my winter break filling it with color, space, letter and line, but if I go home for the holiday and go to Georgia, there'll hardly be time.

Break out the angst, the caffeine is starting to wear thin. Let's roll into the covers, layer ourselves in the pages of a book, inhale the scent of our skin as it brushes the dry forgotten ink. Watch, the frail blonde hairs on your nape shiver as I breathe my story into them.

It's been a late night this entire week and my grasp on the English language is tenuous at best. My fingertips are in danger of forgetting that their purpose lies not in the constant dance of the keyboard, but in the intense, ineffable exploration of the language of feeling. Feel, you must remind them to feel beyond the fading plastic squares.

It's 36 Degrees, Nancy Boy, Where Is My Mind, All the Pretty Things Are Going To Hell, Institutionalized, . It's every bad punk song, every wannabe emo angst song, everything that you ever played at full volume with the windows down in a winter night and screamed the words you'd forgotten you knew. Or just screamed to. It's about the fall of reason, the ascent of a nascent faculty beyond thought, beyond poetry. Bring back the music more palpable than concrete buildings, let it penetrate your defenses like auditory artillery. What are they singing? Who the fuck cares. Break the shell of your language, fight your way into something greater, uglier, more alive. I love the way you smell when you've forgotten how much you love dreaming. I'll shower you with, I'll drown you in, I'll rescue you from your nostalgia. I'll freewrite my way to Hell, dancing the whole way there, content to feel your hand curled inside my glove. C'mon, darlin, let's swim.

Not much to report, sir.

2005-11-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

So!
It's been a slow, woozy weekend. I've been recovering from my big midterm and paper due on Friday... watching a whole shitload of L Word with Nate and Jaci and Heather. Poor Nate. The last ep of the first season scarred him. I think it might have scarred me, too. Domestic abuse is some scary shit.

However, watching a whole lot of lesbianism with my two straight roommates and our straight friend was pretty entertaining. They're such good sports.

Sadly, my lady's mother was in town this weekend, so I only got to see her for about two minutes on Saturday when she stopped by the coffeeshop and kissed me and gave me bagels and props. It was pretty sweet. Tomorrow night we're going to hang out over here, watch yet more L Word, and cuddle. It'll be great.

Speaking of coffeeshop, I was there alone for the first time ever for four hours. It was unexpectedly busy, too, but I handled it as well as I could manage. A bunch of people wanted iced tea (wtf?!? Do they realize it's mid-November?), and I couldn't oblige because I'm pretty sure you just have to brew up hot tea and then refrigerate it for several hours... or perhaps there's some kind of cold-brew method that I'm unaware of.

Book 17 of SiP came out, so I just spent the past hour gobbling it up. I kept gasping and exclaiming in excitement, which drove Jaci to distraction since she's up next for reading it. Heh heh. First the lesbian soap opera, now the lesbian comic book fix.

Emily came home for the weekend (!!!!!) and I miss her. Hardly saw anything of her, sadly, but she did let me rip some music that she recorded. I guess I'll have to like, listen to them on loop for days on end. Yep.

In other news, we found that Mirrormask is at Westgate. So much for going to Minnesota to see it! I am still glad I went. I honestly don't think I could have loved it so much without Emily by my side. She's got that certain brand of surrealism.

However, I'm still totally into going to see it again!

How does this happen?

2005-11-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hello, all!

I'm quitting OD because... well... it's boring over there.

The day is mine! I'm playing something suitably martial from Les Miserables.

... Has anyone ever noticed how similar the words "martial" and "marital" are? That's disturbing. Love as a battlefield, with all the concomitant propaganda.

Speaking of love, I'm having the cutest romance ever. I'll spare you the gushings, but suffice it to say, she's a darling and we're being cute and blatantly obvious and totally awkward. We have a date with the Arboretum tomorrow... I can't wait!

In other news, school continues to be a lot of work. Occasionalyl it's rewarding, however, such as the day that I made honey bread in my Botany lab. My Fellowing first round is over, thank goodness. I get a respite until the 29th, when it starts all over again. It was... difficult but rewarding. I loved spending all that time in Room.

2005-04-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

Well, since all the awesome people in my dorm have one of these, I might as well create one so I can leave comments unanonymously.

I have an established online journal thing at the following website, and since I've not the heart to abandon that one and I'm too lazy/busy to update two blogs, we'll just have to see how this works out. You can leave me notes at this blog if you like, or on the OD one, which I will check more frequently.

MY OD

Peace And Love!! *Goofy Vash T. S. grin*